“Metropolitan” Nathanael Announces Open Communion in the Metropolis of Chicago
Nathanael Announces Open Communion in the Metropolis of Chicago
On Monday, November 18, during a Clergy Syndesmos meeting for the Metropolis of Chicago, His Eminence Metropolitan Nathanael forcefully instructed his priests that they were no longer permitted to announce the parameters for receiving Holy Communion prior to its distribution at any time, even on festal celebrations such as Pascha and Nativity, when there are multitude of unknown persons in the Church.
Nathanael, a noted deep theological thinker, and pastoral wizard, explained that if St. John Chrysostom, “the author of the Divine Liturgy” (uh…no…) had wanted such an announcement to be made prior to the distribution of Holy Communion then it would have been encoded in the service itself. As it is, the only “announcement” is that people should approach with the “fear of God, faith, and love.” As of November 18, 2019, Holy Communion is OFFICIALLY OPEN in the Metropolis of Chicago. No public announcements describing who ought not to approach the Chalice will be permitted, Canons be damned.
Nathanael explained that the clergy have no right to discourage anyone from approaching the Chalice, and after all, he said, it makes us “look like bigots” if we forbid people.
He further explained that if a person is told not to approach the Chalice to receive Holy Communion because he / she / it is engaged in sinful behavior that, according to CANON LAW, forbids their participation, they might not come back to Church. He reminded the priests that we don’t want to discourage people from attending Church.
Well, dear child King, what is it that the Presbyters are to encourage? Careful attendance to the teachings of the Church concerning preparation to enter into union with the Living God or a Cool Met bacchanal?
What sir, are you afraid of what will happen if people receive clear INSTRUCTION about sin and righteous living?
Did it ever occur to your synaptic wonderland that instruction of the faithful is exactly what presbyters are called to do, following the example of the Lord Himself who COMMANDED IT? Please read the Letter to Titus. Check your text. Doesn’t it say, “ Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you…” (2:15) Maybe you have one of those corrupted copies that says “Speak in riddles, give false approval, and encourage everyone’s passions. Don’t be a bigot.”
Get a new bible. Learn the faith. Don’t be a pansy.
For now, however, OPEN COMMUNION is in force. Come one, come all. Your parish priest can’t stop you — Nate said so — so just sashay your way down the aisle, since the watchword: REPENT! has been replaced by CUSTOMER SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.