The Penitential Canon: The Voice of the Soul Before God The Fourth Day of the Fast (Thursday)

by Priest Aleksandar RTOC

Last night, the heavens were heavy and silent. The soul, awakened by fasting, listens to the voice that descends in a whisper from on high. This is not the voice of the world, nor the voice of human thought, but the voice of eternity resounding in the depths of the heart. That voice is the cry of repentance, a tear from the depths of the soul, the voice of those who have realized their weakness before the face of the Almighty.
In this sacred fast, the Church places before us the Canon of Repentance, words that are not merely words but a ray of heavenly light in the night of our sin. Oh, how terrifying and exalted it is to stand before the mirror of this Canon! For it reveals, it illuminates, it strikes the depths of the heart. It shows man who he was, what he has become, and what he can become again.
The Penitential Canon is the lament of the soul that has recognized its exile from paradise. It is Adam’s sob before the closed gates. It is the sigh of the prophets who wept over the sins of the people. It is the cry of the prodigal son, who in his mire lifts his eyes and says, “I will arise and go to my Father!”
Listen to the words of the Canon:
“Where shall I begin to weep for the deeds of my wretched life?”
Oh, my soul, where shall you begin? From the first sin, from the first word spoken into the void, from the first gaze that turned away from the light? Or from the moment when your heart grew cold and forgot the Creator? From the day when you thought you could live without Him?
“Come, wretched soul, with your body, confess your sins to the Creator, and turn away from evil.”
Who does not tremble when hearing these words? Who does not shudder before their own weakness? For the soul has become imprisoned in the body, hardened, sluggish toward God, swift toward the world. Its feet have walked paths that were not His, its hands have grasped what was not holy, and its heart has clung to what vanishes like smoke.
But there is hope. Repentance is not the end but the beginning. The words of the Canon do not bring despair but an escape. Sin is like a prison, but tears are the key that breaks the chains.
“Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!”
Like a drop of rain in a parched desert, so these words fall upon a heart crying out for life. Is this not the same cry of the one sinking into the sea? Is it not the same plea of Peter as he gazes into the depths of death? Is it not the word of the thief on the cross, who in his final hour opens his heart to God?
And God answers. Like a father who hears the sob of his child, like a shepherd seeking his lost sheep, like the sun breaking through the clouds. He answers not with condemnation, but with love. For He is not the God of the dead, but of the living; not a God of vengeance, but the Savior. He does not look at the magnitude of sin, but at the depth of repentance.
Do you know, O soul, that tears are a gift? They are not weakness but strength. They are not a sign of defeat but of victory. For only a heart that loves can weep. Only a heart that knows what it has lost can cry out for its Lord.
Repentance is not only sorrow but longing. Longing to once again be in the embrace of the Father, to once more feel the fragrance of paradise, to touch the light that never fades.
Oh, if only every soul would find these tears! If only we would cease to be ashamed of weeping and begin to be ashamed of sin! If only our eyes, instead of seeking worldly joy, would seek only one thing—the face of God!
Tonight, as the night descends, as the world quiets, as souls are kindled in prayer, let your heart speak as well, O my soul.
Do not be afraid to cry out: “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!” Do not be afraid to fall before Him, for He lifts up those who have fallen. Do not be afraid to confess your sin, for He erases all debts.
The Penitential Canon is not just a hymn, not just a prayer; it is a return home. And every sigh, every tear, every word spoken from the depths of the heart is already a step closer to the embrace of the Father.
Be courageous, O my soul. Paradise is not far. The way back leads through tears, but at its end awaits the light and the embrace of the Father.